


Book of Jealousy

by Baamon5evr



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Jealous Steve Rogers, M/M, No Spoilers, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, angsty i guess, do not underestimate natasha, minor blood and injury, t'challa is kind of a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4379084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is Steve actually likes T'Challa, as much as one could like someone who has kicked your ass. But Steve could forgive and forget that because T'Challa is a great guy. He was the cool guy who everyone gravitated towards and Steve didn't mind because he got caught up in his orbit too, invited into it actually. And yet he couldn't deny the twinge in his chest whenever he saw Sam and T'Challa together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Book of Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on "Who We Are" by Imagine Dragons  
> Fic based off of a post on tumblr

The thing is Steve actually liked T'Challa, as much as one could like someone who has kicked your ass. But Steve could forgive and forget that because T'Challa was a great guy. He was levelheaded, fair, harismatic, caring, charming, a certified genius (even smarter than Tony in Steve's opinion). T'Challa had a poker face to rival a statue's and he was a badass when it came to fighting, having showed Steve some neat moves. T'Challa kind of reminded him of Bucky in that way. He was the cool guy who everyone gravitated towards and Steve didn't mind because he got caught up in his orbit too, invited into it actually. And yet he couldn't deny the twinge in his chest whenever he saw Sam and T'Challa together.

Their relationship... friendship was expected he supposed. They were two forces who sucked others into their galaxy, so naturally they would draw to each other and keep drawing until Steve was certain that 80% of the time he didn't see Sam without T'Challa. Which shouldn't have bothered him because they were both his friends but he couldn't help but feel the same way he did when he thought fondue was a code word for something else. He didn't like feeling this way and he tried to act normal about it all. So what if Sam didn't like him in that way? That was okay. Steve was a big boy and he could get over it. He still had Sam's friendship afterall and that mattered a lot to him.

The twinges in his chest as he came home to Sam and T'Challa's shared laughter said differently. He winced as he closed the door and made to walk past them.

"Steve!" He froze as Sam called out to him. He really was hoping they wouldn't notice him.

"Hey guys." He said, trying to put on a smile but knowing he wasn't very good at fake smiles.

"T'Challa was just telling me old stories about growing up in Wakanda with his sister. I know you have more than a couple tales of misadventure. Wanna join us?" Normally he would say yes. He'd launch into some anecdote about him, Bucky and Becca running around Brooklyn and he'd get laughs and laugh with them but today Sam was sitting with barely any space between himself and T'Challa. Today, Sam had his hand on T'Challa's knee while his arm was slung across the back of the couch behind Sam's head. Today was not the day.

"You know, I'm actually really tired. I think I'm just going to go to my room."

"You're tired? Was there an alien invasion I don't know about because you could go a week without sleep and still be a wisecracking asshole."

"That's just it actually. I've had a rough few nights. I'm just going doze if I can." Inside Steve felt his brain screaming at him. He had never directly lied to Sam before. He could tell T'Challa saw through him when his eyes narrowed sharply at him but Sam hesitated before smiling sympathetically.

"'Course. Take all the time you need." Steve felt like crap walking away but hastened to his room. He stayed there, trying to keep his mind calm and not think at all but Sam came in about an hour later.

"Oh good, you're not sleeping. T'Challa's gone and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you were bending the truth a little back there but if you want to talk now, I'm willing to listen." Steve felt even worse now.

"No, no I don't wanna... everything's fine. You didn't have to interrupt your time with him on my account."

"Well, you're my friend just as much as he is."

_I'm really not._

"Really, everything's okay." Sam didn't look like he believed him but he let it go.

"Wanna watch people hurt themselves for our amusement?"

"It's not amusing."

"It is, and you know it." Sam grabbed his hand to drag him out to the living room television and he felt electricity flow between them. He really wished he wasn't so gone for this man.

~*~*~

They found a new lead on Bucky and maybe Steve got too consumed by it, put too much of his focus on it knowing damn well he'd find his friend when he wanted to be found and not a second before. He chased this lead alone because Sam's twin nephew and niece's birthday was that weekend. Jazmyn and Jody had been disappointed Steve couldn't come but he promised them he'd visit when he got back and would bring a present too.

When he returned, weary and disappointed, he walked into the kitchen to find Sam and T'Challa there. The king was standing behind Sam and moving his hands to show him some new punching techniques. Steve didn't want to feel the jealousy that welled up in him but he couldn't help it when T'Challa was pressed so close to Sam and was whispering in his ear, causing Sam to laugh breathlessly. He was all set to storm out quietly but then T'Challa addressed him.

"Ah, look who's back." Sam looked over and Steve couldn't stop the stutter in his chest when he turned a wide grin at him, ran over and embraced him tightly like it hadn't only been three days. Steve hugged him back because three days was much too long and he had missed Sam, he always missed Sam lately now that T'Challa was there. He was an idiot, he was always too late.

~*~*~

Eventually Steve got upset and gave himself the right to be. T'Challa didn't have anything Steve didn't.... except wealth, royal standing, intelligence beyond measure, a fundamental understanding of Sam's struggles as a Black man and Black superhero at that and stability beyond anything Steve could achieve at this stage, or any stage, in his life. But he was selfish and was fine with admitting that when it came to Sam.

He loved Sam. His love for him was different than his love for Peggy but didn't preclude or dull it in any way. He would always love Peggy, she was his first love and nothing would ever change or lessen the way he felt for her. There'd always be a part of himself that was for her and her alone but he'd been a different man then, arguably not even a man so much as a boy. He knew he wasn't as bright eyed as he used to be, wasn't as pure, knew there was a certain innocence and ignorance ripped from him as he was thrust into this whole new world but Sam was the only thing that could slow things down, could show him some reason and understood more than anyone who Steve was. He hoped he was as supportive of Sam as he was of him but knew it wasn't always so. T'Challa was a great guy who deserved Sam and Sam deserved him too but Steve didn't want to become a cautionary tale on waiting too long and what if Sam felt the same way? Ultimately it would be Sam's choice but it wouldn't hurt to let him know that Steve was an option if he wanted it.

It was on a night Steve knew T'Challa would be otherwise occupied that he managed to get Sam out of the house. It actually wasn't hard to convince him. They went to a tapas restaurant and it went well. It was nice catching up with Sam and have it be just about them. No T'Challa, no Bucky, no SHIELD, no mentions of Captain America or the Falcon or the Avengers whatsoever; just them. Steve felt bold enough to hold Sam's hand as they walked down the street to a gelato place and Sam didn't pull away, just laced his fingers with Steve's and let himself be led. Steve went inside the store alone to get his and Sam's dessert but when he came back outside Sam wasn't there. Steve stood bewildered for a moment.

Had he drove Sam away? Had he been uncomfortable but hadn't said? Was he just waiting for an opportunity to bail?

No, that wasn't Sam. If he was uncomfortable in a situation he would say so. Steve walked over to the spot where Sam had been standing and crouched down as something caught his eye. He balanced the gelato in one hand before reaching under a car and pulling out what turned out to be Sam's phone. There were a few spots on the cement Steve noticed as he made to move away, he dabbed at them.

Blood. And it was fresh.

"Shit." He dumped the gelato in the garbage and immediately shot a text to T'Challa. His jealousy didn't matter at the moment. He could trust T'Challa to take this as serious as him and help him tirelessly if it meant Sam's safety.

~*~*~

They eventually found Sam four hours later. The HYDRA agents who took him couldn't help but boast about it via text with an image of Sam's bruised, beaten face which only served to piss Steve off. With the help of the compound AI, Jacosta, they were able to triangulate the call and track it straight to them. They cut the power and Steve and T'Challa put their combined fighting skills to good use and took apart the room. But Steve was still practical. HYDRA was there in New York. He needed to know if there was more but the last of the thugs wouldn't budge.

"You hurt someone I love. If you think you get to limp away from this, you're wrong. You better talk or this is going to--" Steve's threat was cut off as all of a sudden as a crowbar went swinging upside the back of the guy's head. Steve let him fall back, knocked out or dead he wasn't sure, and looked up at Sam as he dropped the tool to the floor. The left side of his face still glistened with blood even in the dark and Steve could make out the tears in his swollen eyes even before his breath turned ragged and his strangled sobs filled the room. Steve's face softened and he stood, stepping over the HYDRA agent, to make his way to Sam. He reached out to pull the man into an embrace but Sam pushed him away.

"Sam..." The man in question took a few steps away from him, tears running down his face.

"Wilson." T'Challa said, stepping forward. Sam took a small step back and doubled over himself, holding his abdomen while his sobs grew louder. T'Challa inched in close until he was close enough to touch. He placed a hand on his shoulder and Sam didn't pull away. T'Challa managed to pull him into a hug that Sam reciprocated while sobbing into his shoulder. They looked... right and he was giving Sam what he needed in a way Steve never did and Sam deserved that, he deserved the world and someone who could give it to him.

Steve was never good at backing down from a fight but he knew when to admit defeat.

~*~*~

They returned to Steve and Sam's apartment and T'Challa joined Sam in the bathroom after he showered to help clean and bandage his wounds. Steve didn't know what to do then, the HYDRA agent was still knocked out and currently en route to the nearest SHIELD base and Sam wouldn't look at him or touch him. He settled for making tea instead. He shot a quick text to Natasha but otherwise just sat basically twiddling his thumbs and waiting. His head snapped up as a shadow in the doorway caught his eye.

"Hey Cap. Mind taking over? I'm no good with butterfly bandages." That slightly confused Steve, he'd seen T'Challa administer first aid just fine. Steve said as much and T'Challa all but rolled his eyes at him.

"Well, you're better at it. Besides, my hands are cramping up." Steve wondered why T'Challa was pushing him towards Sam but didn't bother asking, he wouldn't get a straight answer anyway.

"Well, is he comfortable being around me?"

"Actually, he was asking for you. Wondered why you weren't there in the first place so you better hop to it and that's an order, soldier." T'Challa said in a voice that was both playful and genial. It brought a small smile to Steve's face. It'd been some time since he'd smiled at T'Challa and more time yet since they'd had a moment alone. He needed to change that, he was still his friend.

"I'm a Captain, you can't give me orders."

"I'm a King."

"Touche." T'Challa proceeded to shoo Steve from the kitchen and he walked towards the bathroom cautiously. He knocked before entering as he wasn't sure of Sam's readiness to see him.

"Steve?" He heard Sam ask through the door. His voice sounded hoarse from the crying and maybe from screaming, he wasn't sure but didn't want to speculate for too long.

"Yeah, it's me. Can I come in?" Instead of verbally answering Sam opened the door wide to allow Steve entry and then sat back on the edge of the sink. He looked better than he did when they first found him. There were bruises already forming on his shirtless torso, the left side of his face was a mess of bruises, nicks and cuts. His left eye was swollen almost shut while his right seemed relatively unscathed. Steve wanted to inflict twice as much pain on the men who did this but Sam needed him and he wasn't nearly as present for Sam as he was for him so he anchored himself to this moment.

He stepped forward and silently went about cleaning some of the cuts littering his face and sussed out which ones he would leave to breathe and which ones to bandage. Sam stared at him the whole time but Steve wouldn't meet his gaze just yet, intent on finishing the bandages. However, once that was done there was nothing to hold his attention and his eyes strayed to Sam's without his express consent. He was sure he was misreading something because Sam's gaze, though marred by the bruises and swelling, was soft and filled with an emotion Steve didn't want or even know how to decipher.

"Thank you." Sam said softly. Steve scoffed lightly.

"For what?" What could Sam possibly have to thank him for?

"For coming for me and helping with the bandages now."

"Of course I came for you. I'll always come for you." Steve looked down and away, acknowledging to himself that he wasn't the only one. Which was only what Sam deserved and even if it hurt more than crashing into that iceberg had, if letting him go made certain Sam was happy he would do it.

"Steve..." Sam said trailing off and raising a hand to Steve's cheek as an errant tear rolled down. Steve was fine admitting he was selfish when it came to wanting and loving Sam but not selfish when it came to Sam's well-being, to his happiness. Steve sniffed, pushing the tears back. It wasn't his place to cry in that moment.

"I just wanted to say that you and T'Challa make a fine couple and I hope... I know he'll make you happy and keep you safe and love you better than I do." Steve sniffed again and didn't look up at Sam as his hand stilled on his cheek.

"... love? You love me?" Steve chuckled humorlessly to himself.

"I know I'm not very good at showing it. Everything you've done for me, It would take a lifetime to repay you but I'll try. I know T'Challa will be a great boyfriend and I'll do my best to be a better friend to you." Sam didn't talk for a long while but eventually Steve felt him silently begin to shake. He lifted his head up, thinking he was crying but he was actually laughing. Steve stared at him with hurt confusion, wondering what part of what he said was funny. Sam stopped himself short and winced while holding his left cheek.

"That's what your problem's been lately? You think I like T'Challa like that?"

"I... well..."

"I think his fiancée would have a real problem with her boyfriend having a boyfriend."

"Fiancée?"

"Monica Lynne. You've met her twice." Steve did recall meeting Monica but thought she was just a friend. He felt a blush of embarrassment rising to his cheek.

"So there's no you and T'Challa?"

"Not in that way, no. I was actually hoping there would be a you and me eventually but then you started pulling away and I thought I read you wrong." Steve shook his head, not quite believing that it was this easy and he had managed to make it this complicated.

"So you... want me?" Steve asked hesitantly. Sam nodded his head in affirmation.

"And you want me, so what's stopping us?" Steve looked at Sam's face. His smile was soft and open but there were still shadows in his eyes from the pain he'd just endured. Steve's fingers lightly brushed against one of the bruises on his cheek.

"Don't blame yourself for this. They actually didn't take me because of you, they were looking for Natasha. Thought I'd be easier to get information out of. They would've taken me regardless of whether I'd been out with you at the time or not. What we do is dangerous, we'll both always worry but we shouldn't put our lives on hold because of it. Thought you learned that lesson by now."

"I did too." Sam pushed off of the sink and stood in front of Steve, meeting his eyes head on.

"I love you too, you know. Wasn't even hard to fall." Steve felt his eyes fill again but these tears were more happy than sorrowful. He carefully brought his hands up to frame Sam's face, careful not to press too hard or disturb any bruises before he leaned in slowly and pressed their lips together. He kissed him softly, aware of the busted lip he was sporting but Sam seemed not to care as he pulled Steve's face firmer against his and kissed him harder. Steve was the one to pull away, not able to let himself keep kissing Sam when he knew he was hurting.

"I've waited for that for a long time." Sam whispered against his lips.

"Me too."

"Me three." Sam and Steve snapped their heads to the door where T'Challa stood with a smile.

"It's about time you got yourselves together."

"You knew?" Steve asked incredulously before rolling his eyes at himself.

"Of course you knew."

"And I knew you were clueless and thought Sammy here was in love with me. Natasha asked me to play matchmaker while she was gone and Monica and I have been having a good laugh over you two idiots tiptoeing over each other." Steve shook his head, he really needed to tell Natasha to stop meddling in his love life... and he needed to thank her for never listening to him when he told her so.

"I'm heading out, Monica and I have a date with a beach and a couple margaritas. I trust you two won't do too much damage while I'm gone." T'Challa didn't wait for an answer before heading out and Sam and Steve took a moment to laugh at their situation.

"So what now?" Sam asked.

"Now? Now, I'm gonna get you an ice-pack and some painkillers and we're going to sleep together in my bed. I'm going to take care of you until you feel better and for the rest of our lives I'm going to show you just how much I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a plan." Sam rested his head on Steve's shoulder and he carefully rubbed a hand on his arm, not wanting to crush him in a hug. He promised himself right then and there he wasn't letting go, he wasn't leaving Sam, he wasn't going to take him for granted he was going to be a man worthy of his love even if he died trying.


End file.
